Kook – what does this word actually mean?
There are different theories. Some say it is short for “Keeper of Odd Knowledge”. Others say the name comes from the similar-sounding bird, the “cuckoo”, which has some very strange characteristics. But everyone agrees on one thing: a kook is like a “poser”, only worse. The fact is, both beginners and pros can be kooks. So if you’re still a complete beginner, that doesn’t automatically make you a kook. On the contrary, right now is the time to pay particular attention to how you act.
10 typical kooks
Surfing is always about style too. Sure, surfers always look so cool and relaxed with their boards, but that doesn’t come from nowhere. Here are 10 tips that will keep you from becoming the biggest kook in the universe:
Kook #1 – Transport
How do I get my surfboard from home to the surf spot?
The kook:
Shoves his surfboard into the car and leaves the boot open. Shoves his surfboard under the seats of a convertible with half of it still sticking out.
How do you do it right?
Two options: strap your surfboard to the car roof and secure it with straps, or slide the surfboard all the way into the car – just fold down all the seats you don’t need. If your board flies off the roof while driving and hits another car, you’ll never forgive yourself. You should also avoid a leash flapping in the wind. Either take it off or wrap it tightly around the board.
Kook #2 – Warming up
How do I warm up properly for my surf session?
The kook:
The kook shadow-boxes on the beach or even does a full HIIT workout.
How do you do it right?
Warming up is essential before every surf session. The emphasis is on warming up, not wearing yourself out. It’s enough to wake up your muscles with gentle stretching to get ready for your surf session.
Kook #3 – Leash dragon
How do you actually wear your leash properly?
The kook:
On the way into the sea, the kook drags the leash behind him through the sand like a dog lead behind his dog.
How do you do it right?
The easiest way is to keep the leash wrapped around your board until just before the water. That way you won’t get caught on anything and your leash stays sand-free. Alternatively, you can of course strap it to your ankle already, but then you should still hold the leash in your hand so you don’t trip over it on the way into the water.
Kook #4 – The zinc zombie
How do I put on sunscreen without making a fool of myself?
The kook:
Painting your face as if it were a children’s birthday party or smearing yourself with so much colour that you look like a zombie.
How do you do it right?
Zinc sticks come in different colours, but they are primarily for protection from the sun. As a surfer, you spend a lot of time in the water or on your surfboard. The water reflects UV rays, which makes the sun’s radiation on your skin much more intense. The face, especially the nose, cheeks and lips, is often covered with zinc stick.
Kook #5 – Dress code
How do I not make a fool of myself with my surf outfit?
The kook:
The kook pulls his swim shorts over his wetsuit, walks around in trainers and neoprene, or keeps his booties on when out and about.
How do you do it right?
Remember how surfing is always about style too? So wear your board shorts under your wetsuit instead. Don’t wear your wetsuit with street shoes or a jacket. The wetsuit is for the water and nothing else.
Kook #5 – The fins
How do fins go into the surfboard?
The kook:
The kook puts the fins into the surfboard the wrong way round.
How should you do it?
The fins go into your surfboard the right way round. Unless you want a portion of challenge while surfing.
Kook #6 – Your behaviour in the water
Are there rules in the water?
The kook:
The kook pushes in and steals other people’s waves, sits in the wrong spot or drops in on others.
How should you do it?
Disrespectful behaviour in the water makes you the ultimate kook. Yes, there are some etiquette rules to follow in surfing too. You can find more information in our blog post. ALWAYS keep an eye on your surfboard and don’t just let it drift behind you. You could easily hurt someone with it. No problem if you can’t surf a shortboard in big waves yet – everyone starts out on a softtop. But please don’t take it into 2-metre waves and become a danger to yourself and others.
Kook #7 – Sharing waves
Party waves with your friends – everyone’s dream.
The kook:
The kook takes other people’s waves or rides towards another surfer.
How should you do it?
Proper surf etiquette also includes sharing waves with your fellow surfers. Nobody has the right to take someone else’s priority or take a wave that is already being surfed. Of course, mistakes happen and things can quickly get hectic – then you should apologise and be even more careful in the line-up.
Kook #8 – The wetsuit
As a surfer, your board and your wetsuit are your best friends, but how far should the friendship go?
The kook:
The kook wears his wetsuit outside the water before and after the surf session too. For example, to go shopping, have a drink, go out to eat or just to chill.
How should you do it?
Your friendship with your wetsuit shouldn’t go beyond water sports. Wetsuits are not worn in the supermarket. Nor on public transport. And if it’s not your own car, not in the car either. Colloquially, wearing a wetsuit away from a surf spot is also known as “yeast mode”. The same goes for lycras, which many people wear instead of a wetsuit as sun protection in warm water. This garment is also meant as sun protection in the water, not in the supermarket. One more important survival tip to avoid a nervous breakdown on the beach – put your wetsuit on the right way round. “Inside out” is not on the outside.
Kook #9 – The surf poncho
Anyone who owns a surf poncho will confirm that ponchos are simply incredibly comfortable and super nice for chilling. But what do I really need the poncho for as a surfer?
The kook:
The kook likes to spend as much time as possible in his poncho. He loves chilling in it on the beach or on the sofa, because the poncho is just so cosy.
How should you do it?
Once you’ve finished your successful surf session, peeled yourself out of your wetsuit and slipped into your cosy poncho, please don’t stay in it for the rest of the day. The poncho is there to dry you off and let you change on the beach with a little privacy. The poncho is not an item of clothing for going shopping or to a restaurant. One more tip for the girls: wearing wet bikini bottoms for too long can quickly lead to a painful bladder infection…
Kook #10 – Out and about
Is the surfboard your best friend?
The kook:
The kook spends his life with his surfboard and loves taking it everywhere.
How should you do it?
This is probably the supreme discipline of posers. Even if you really love your surfboard, not everyone needs to see it. Whether in a shopping trolley at the supermarket or under your arm in the shopping mall – yes, that really happens – it’s simply not necessary. You’re allowed to leave your best friend, the surfboard, at home when you go shopping.
CONCLUSION – How not to be a kook!
To avoid looking like a complete kook, be a smart surfer and choose your board and surf spot wisely. Watch other surfers who know what they’re doing and don’t copy the kooks out there. A surfer who goes surfing waves that are far too big at a pro spot automatically becomes a kook. You put both yourself and other surfers in great danger.
When surfers measure their level by their ego rather than their actual ability, they are kooks. It’s totally normal to make mistakes while surfing. Wipeouts are part of it, but please don’t put others at risk. Act smart and respect your fellow surfers.
If you want to be on the safe side, read up on beginner mistakes. Get to grips with the topic of surfing and watch other surfers who do it right.
You’ll find everything about learning to surf in our comprehensive blog post “Learn to surf: the beginner’s guide for surf newbies”
One more recommendation for your laughing muscles: the Instagram channel Kookofthedayog posts collected works of kooks from all over the world every day.
And now into your wetsuit and onto your board! Hang loose and peace out!